Super Short Stories and Fables

Some of these tales are true, some are fantasy, some are mine, some are not. Enjoy and leave your own if you have one to spare!

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"Mark proposed to my boyfriend's sister Chelsey at Christmas this year. When I said, "I'm so glad you're going to be my brother!" I accidentally broke the news that my boyfriend and I had eloped over the summer."

"I was chastising my friend who was walking along the stone railing that she was going to fall and get all wet, and without missing a beat I fell into a ditch that was filled with water."

"He put the ring on my finger and it fit perfectly. 'How did you know my size?!' I asked, surprised and pleased. He replied 'I didn't. I made that ring on a whim when I was 16. I thought I was making it for me but then it never fit. Now I know that I was making it for you.'"

"It took the car flipping over and sliding into a ditch for me to find out my girlfriend loved me. She pulled me out of the car after my knee was thrown and up to the road so I wasn't lying in water. She weighs no more than a buck ten. I play a linebacker on the football team. She also never left my side the whole way to the hospital."

"He watched the feathers slid over the fabric of the sofa. His eyes never left them for a moment. As he was about to pounce, so did the three year old."

"I was putting groceries away in the freezer, always the first to be done so nothing defrosts. I had to reach further for one item than all the others, and I left the freezer door open a few extra seconds. I turned around with the item and there was my cat, sitting on the frozen shrimp as if he were king."

"Every year my father re-creates his version of National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. This year, it was our living room. On the inside."

"I stood watching him move through the water, my face pressed to the glass as if I could pass through it and join him. What was likely seconds felt like hours, my eyes drinking in every detail of the encounter. Suddenly, he looked at me and placed his paws on the tank next to mine. I was a 20-year-old giggly kid at SeaWorld that day."

"My sister, a snobby clarinet player:'If I have to hear that *bleep* song one more time, I'm going to ram that violin up your nose!' My dad to my sister:'If you can't make that thing sound less like a dying goose, I'll let her practice her violin more.'"

"I was standing in line for Harry Potter 5 with my mom, just the two of us, when we accidentally knocked over one of the poles holding up the red ropes for the line. I kid you not, the teenage girl right behind us yelled, "Reparo!" at the pole, pointing a fake wand. She was surprised when it didn't work. It was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen."

"Officer asks, "Miss, can you identify your attacker from this line up?" She replied confidently, "Yes." She points to the culprit. "That's him." Officer asks her, "How did you know?" She looked at him and said, "He's the only one in there wearing a Storm Trooper helmet. Who else would steal my purse in the name of Palpatine?"

"I was working the drive thru at our local fast food joint when a customer pulls up. After cheerily informing them of our special, our promotion, and where they just drive up to, the customer only says, "A medium water." My response was, "Thank you, please pull around to your second drive thru window!" After a pause, the man says angrily into the loudspeaker, "You forgot to tell me how much it's gonna be! You kids never do your jobs right, and it's not even that hard!" After a short rant about the insipid behaviors of teens and one rather pregnant pause, I reply quietly, "Sir, it's free.'"